


Running With the Devil

by SupernaturalFlavoredLollipop



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural Novels - Various
Genre: Awesome Crowley, Comedy, Crowley Being an Asshole, Crowley and Feelings, F/M, Gen, Other, The Darkness - Freeform, crowley and reader friendship, crowley and winchester allies, crowley is mad his mom had sex with sam, drunken crowley, funny crowley, sam had sex with rowena and crowley is pissed, sam winchester and rowena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4018816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalFlavoredLollipop/pseuds/SupernaturalFlavoredLollipop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have to go find a drunken, pissed of Crowley and talk some sense into him after he finds out that Rowena and Sam hooked up researching the Mark of Cain. Comedy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running With the Devil

You sighed and looked from Dean to Sam. "You two really know how to fuck up a stiuation."

Dean raised his eyebrows and looked at you. "Me? What did I do? This is _clearly_ Sam's fault."

You glared at him. "Yeah, it is, but if you didn't have the Mark in the first place, he and Rowena would have never been alone, and... _that_ would have never happened. And Crowley wouldn't be pissed." Sam looked embarrassed, and Dean just shot you a dirty look. "Sorry, Dean. Like I said, you both know how to fuck up a situation."

"Seriously, Sam. _Rowena?_ " Dean shook his head. "What the hell?"

"Things got out of control, okay?" Sam was sitting dejectedly at his desk, looking pissed.

"Yeah, I know, but... Rowena?" Dean repeated.

" _Yes, Dean_." Sam glared at his brother.

You shook your head and rolled your eyes, and clicked through your phone. Clearly, whatever had happened leading up to the Mark being removed from Dean had gotten out of hand- you weren't sure the exact details, you hadn't been around then. But it was safe to assume that you were going to be the one to fix this mess, because the two Winchesters were currently on the brink of punching each other, Crowley had thrown a bitch fit and left, and Castiel was looking confused and muttering something about a pizzaman.

You sent Crowley a text. The last few months had been ridiculous, and the fact that you now had the King of Hell's phone number in your cell was even weirder.

" _Crowley, where are you? Need to talk. Get back to me ASAP. Not bringing any Winchesters._ " You sent to him.

A few moments later, you recieved a short reply. " _The Bar Fiori. Sicily_."

"I'll be back. Cas, can you give me a lift to... The Bar Fiori in... Sicily?" You peered into the Library. The brothers gave you a strange look. "What? Someone has to patch things up with Crowley. We kind of need his help. And I suggest we _not_ send Sam."

Sam scratched his head. "Yeah. Listen. I'm _really_ sorry..."

You held up your hand. "Sam, I didn't even know you then. I don't need an apology. We can talk about it later. Or... _never_. I haven't decided if I want to know yet." You ran a hand through your hair. "I'll be back soon all right? I'm just going to talk some sense into Crowley and I'll come right back." Sam nodded at you.

Dean glanced from you back to his brother. "Dude, you have _no idea_ how friggin' lucky you are right now."

"No, I really do." Sam replied.

Castiel approached you, and you found yourself standing with him outside of a dimly lit bar on a cobblestone street in what you assumed was Sicily. He looked down at you. "Do you want me to come in with you?" He asked you seriously.

"No." You shook your head. "I'll be okay." You smiled up at Cas. "I think... Crowley just needs to talk."

Cas nodded. "I'll be listening for you. If you need my help."

"Thanks, Cas." You said. He nodded, and disseappeared. You pulled open the door and entered the dark bar.

You spotted Crowley slouched in a back booth, a large glass with an umbrella stuck in it half empty in front of him. You made your way to him and slid into the seat across from him. He acknowledged you with a dejected sigh.

"Crowley." You nodded at him.

"Y/N." He sighed again.

"What are you drinking?" You asked, crinkling your nose at the sickly sweet aroma that wafted from the drink.

"A Sexy Pina Colada on the Beach."

"Fucking seriously?"

"Always."

"How many have you had?"

"Twenty seven."

"How are you not dead yet?"

"I _am_ dead. King of Hell, Sweetheart." He gave you an unamused look, draining the drink through his straw. "And I'm barely tipsy. _But I wish I were hammered_."

"Jesus, Crowley. You really need to be an adult about this. Your mother is a grown woman and can make her own decisions."

" _Clearly_ not good decisions." He raised a brow at you. "How exactly are you so unconcerned about this? It _does_ involve your boyfriend."

"Okay first, he's not my boyfriend. And second, I didn't even know him yet when he boffed your mom."

"Can you _not_ referr to it as _'boffing my mother_?" Crowley frowned at you. "And he is your boyfriend. Come on. I wasn't born yesterday."

You glared at the King of Hell. "We haven't discussed it yet. And I'm not discussing it with you of all people." You hailed a waitress over and turned to Crowley. "I don't speak Italian. Order me a beer, will you please? I need a drink now, too."

"Always a pleasure." Crowley rolled his eyes at you, but nevertheless turned to the waitress and ordered you a beer in rapidfire Italian. Then he turned back to you. "You honestly have no problem with the fact that your Samantha and my vapid witch mother decided to get hot and heavy with each other?"

You gladly accepted your beer from the waitress and watched her set another fruity concoction in front of your unlikely companion, glad that it gave you some time to think. Once she had gone, you paused, then answered. "Well, _I'm not thrilled_." Crowley sipped his drink, waiting for more of an answer. "But, it's his business. I wasn't even in the picture yet."

Crowley shook his head. "He has terrible taste in women." You frowned at him. He frowned right back. "Present company excluded, _I'm sure_."

"Gee, thanks." You replied, sipping your beer. "How'd you find out he boffed your mom anyways?"

"Stop saying he boffed my mom!" Crowley closed his eyes, a long suffering look on his face.

"Sorry."

"The way she looked at him just naggled at my mind until I finally figured it out, and then tonight when I brought it up, Moose broke so fast, it was disheartening really. Even I thought he was made of stronger stuff."

"Admitting to something you aren't particularly proud of doesn't make you weak."

"I'm the King of Hell, Darling. It does to me."

"Okay, well, whatever. Stop dissing Sam. He was good enough for your mom."

"Did you really just work a 'your mother' joke into the conversation? You realize I could snap my fingers and destroy you right now?" Crowley's stare was like daggers in your direction. You shrugged it off.

"Yeah, but you won't. Because we're on the same team and you need my help right now. Kill me later." You drank some more beer. You did kind of feel bad for the guy. His mom didn't love him, he'd had a shitty life, he'd pulled out all the stops to help save Dean, and then he'd found out his own mother had banged his least favorite Winchester. "At least she didn't boff Dean. _That_ would just be awkward."

Crowley threw his hands up in the air. " _I just can't win_. Did you really come here to make things worse? Because _that's what you're doing_."

"No. Sorry. Listen, I'll level with you, Crowley. I'm making jokes because I'm not all that thrilled that Sam seems to have the _worst_ taste in women _ever_. And next time I see Rowena _I know she'll know I know_ about her and Sam... and we all know how pleasant she is." You sighed, downing half your beer. "Our lives are beyond fucked up. If the Darkness is going to kill us all, it should hurry up because we are doing a bang up job of wrecking shit ourselves."

"Amen to that." Crowley took another miserable drink.

"But you really need to get over it. You and the Winchesters, and Cas, and myself, and yes, your mother, we all have work to do. Despite what may have happened."

"Can I give it a few days?"

"No. That tablet needs to be stolen like, yesterday. So finish your drink and let's go."

"I was hoping to make it an even thirty Sexy Pina Coladas on the Beach."

"That's two more after this."

"Yes."

"I'm not hanging out with you in a shitty bar for another two drinks."

"But your boyfriend boffed my mother."

"God damn it."

                *              *              *


End file.
